Messing Up God's Plan

(*Note* I will be posting a blog soon with pictures of the progress from yesterday. I just really wanted to blog on this. God layed it on my heart. I hope you guys think about it for the next few days and it speaks to you in some way. Love you all!)


As most of you know from my previous post, I was out of town the second Sunday of Canvas. As I also posted earlier, the decision was made to leave the artwork freestanding, untouched for all three services. I finally was able to grab the message on CD that I missed that Sunday as well as see the canvas again. I was in for quiet a shock. As I turned the corner into Epic, I immediately noticed something horrible was wrong with the canvas. To my disbelief there had been red paint slung all in the middle of our beautiful art. The art was finally taking a direction and it was so exciting to see where it was going!! Yet there stood this giant piece of canvas I had been pouring my heart and soul into for the past two weeks, praying over, dreaming about, ruined. I was stunned, speechless. There were no words to express my emotions. I had a lump in my throat that felt the size of Texas. Someone in passing must have noticed me standing motionless in a gaze of fear and came to my side. They told me what had happened. They said I needed to listen to the message. The message. Hmmm....I had not heard it yet. I was suddenly so eager to hear what excitement I had missed. So I grabbed up one of the recordings and quickly ran to my jeep and played it in my CD player. It sounded so usual at first, IV coming on, welcoming everyone to Epic. Then he started speaking about God's masterpiece. The masterpiece He paints daily in our every day lives when we are so busy and unaware. I could hear him picking up the paint brush and then it happened. I heard the red paint slide onto the painting Melody and I had worked on. He told of how our sin and our plans for our lives ruins God's masterpiece. My heart was breaking. No longer was it because our artwork had a runny red glob in the middle, instead because I understood exactly what he was saying. Our artwork is no where near comparable to the masterpieces God paints every single day, however I knew just a teeny weensy bit, on a very smaller scale how God must feel everytime I say no to Him. The times He has already painted it in my life. It is already there, and I am busy trying to paint it in myself. What a mess I must look standing with all of that runny red paint on me in the middle of his beautiful artwork. I was touched. Something deep in my soul was awakened with this new understanding. I have always been one who loves everything life has to offer. The beauty and the chaos. I never take simple things for granted. Like the color of green the grass is after a hot summer Alabama rain. Or the way my daughter stares out the window while we are driving like she knows some big dark unkown secret. Or the way the sun shines on just the right spot of my yard at just the right time of day. Yet I now realize even though I take in every second of every moment that I am blessed with, how often do I find myself "telling" God how I think things should be. The perfect example.....Cystic Fibrosis. How many times a day do I say, you know, God I need you to do this, this is what needs to happen, I need to be well. Instead of trusting that God is the artist, and is painting something so unimaginable, so breathtaking that not I, nor you could ever even begin to wrap our minds around it. He knows the next brush stroke. He knows what I need and what I do not need. I think I need to be well, however He thinks I need to be sick. So this leads me to another idea, maybe the red paint, maybe it isn't always things that we do in our lives. Maybe sometimes it is misfortune, or illness that we stumble into with no fault of our own. But I ask you this....without the red paint, how beautiful would the world be?? If I was well, I cannot tell you where I would be today. I cannot tell you that I would notice the shades of the sky on a late afternoon, or the way the gravel crunches under my feet as I walk the trail between my dad's house and mine. I may not ever notice how beautiful it is to pull into Epic every Sunday morning, and see the most incredible people that I have ever met in my life. And to know they are all on my side, praying for me, and hoping and watching for my health to get better right along side of me. I may never notice the kindness of a smile. If I were well, things may swim past me so fast in a sudden blur. I would be left with the rest of society waiting to realize how beautiful and sudden this life is at an old age when I was wrinkled and tired. If that is how I see the red paint in my life, then I welcome it. Because even when there is red paint, there is also new beginnings. New beginnings for our lives. God can step in and paint over every last single stroke until all the red is gone. He can make it a masterpiece, His masterpiece. So I say to you today, no one is perfect. We as a human race will constantly struggle with messing up God's plan. We will always be red paint. Thank GOD we have a Savior who died for us, to make it right. Because I would HATE to know that I was actually in charge of what is going on around me. The one thing I have learned in my 26 years, sick or not, when I do things without God, all I end up with is a big red mess.

In Progress

³⁰ Then Moses said to the Israelites, "See, the LORD has chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, ³¹ and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts- ³² to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, ³³ to cut and set stones, to work in wood and to engage in all kinds of artistic craftsmanship. ³⁴ And he has given both him and Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, the ability to teach others.

Exodus 35:30-34 (New International Version)

We went to Tennessee this weekend to visit Sam's family. It is always amazing to be able to see them. Our adventures were many and our laughter was much. However I will have to write of it another time. As of right now I am simply just posting a picture of the painting we are working on in "Canvas" I actually missed Epic yesterday because of our trip. The painting was left untouched, and just stood during service in the spotlight. I have yet to hear the message. So I am going to leave a picture I took earlier in the week of our work so far along with a passage from the Bible that I found. This is truly what I am praying for during this series. I want God to use me as a beacon for his light. The work I am doing on the painting is His, not mine.


Peace and Love

Canvas

We started a new series "Canvas" at church Sunday. It will run for the next three weeks. During the series the church has purchased an 8x4 (Yeah it's huge!) piece of canvas and set it on an easel to the right of the stage. There it sits spotlighted for the entire service. During the Praise and Worship, which lasts about 20 minutes at the beginning of service we have an artist come out and paint on the canvas, very abstract. We have three services for a total of three artists. No one knows what the outcome will be, not even the artists themselves. They are letting the message and God drive them towards the end result each Sunday. What I have yet to say is, I am one of those artists. I paint during the second service at 11 am. Yesterday was the first day and it was fabulous! I have been intensely praying about this project ever since I was asked to come on board last week. This was a spur of the moment idea our Pastor had so the artists were chosen at last minute. I have been painting for 13 years. I have been an artist for as long as I can remember, and I have never had the experience that I had yesterday with my art. This is a lot of firsts for me. It is my first time to paint in front of a LIVE audience. I thought I would be so nervous. But actually I prayed for peace and did God ever give it to me!!! It was like the audience wasn't there at all. It was me and my Savior and the music! Everything else just seemed to fall away. I was in my element. It just felt really comfortable for me. It was my first time to paint with other artists. Although we are not painting at the same time, we are building off of each other's work, which was liberating for me. I was a nervous wreck about it. I was so afraid of painting over someone else's work. But that isn't what we are doing at all. We are building on something. Layers upon layers. After the first artist was finished yesterday morning, someone had already offered a lot of money for the piece, and it was just a base coat! How awesome is that!! The church is going to auction it off when we are finished. I think if it goes at a good price we should do several. We are wanting to build a new building for our church, since we are growing so fast. I think that would be an awesome way to raise money and contribute towards that goal. It was also my first time to paint to Wojo. Wojo is our Pastor's best friend from Vegas. Him and his family are visiting from Vegas. Wojo performed the opening song. It was so easy to paint to him!! I could not have asked for a better opening!! I feed off of music when I do my art, and man did he have something to feed off of! He opened with acoustic and I loved it!!!! Wojo is this great big man covered in tattoos with curly hair. Our Pastor met him at a church out in Vegas when they lived there for a short period of time. I met Wojo for the very first time Saturday night at our Pastor's house for our Youth 4th of July celebration. How to describe Wojo.....hmmmm. You know how you meet someone and they look like they could kill someone, just have enormous strength, but wouldn't hurt a fly?? Okay that is Wojo. Not to mention he has the coolest name ever. Like seriously...I am thinking future baby name here. Seriously. On meeting him, I instantly felt the kindness of his spirit. He is just so peaceful. We stood together behind the curtain waiting to go out for the service yesterday morning. I noticed you can just feel his spirit. He is a man of God. Very amazing. I heard so much positive feedback about his performance yesterday!! People were saying they wished he would move here and be our Praise and Worship Leader. It is so awesome to be able to paint LIVE for the first time ever while listening to him play for the FIRST time ever. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! I have been praying over this series. I have prayed that God comes through me onto the canvas. The point is to realize God is the artist in our lives, painting an amazing masterpiece. I had been praying so hard for everyone in the audience to get something out of this. What I had not realized was what I was going to get out of it. God is doing amazing works in my life. He is the GRAND ARTIST and my life is the paint. How breathtaking is that?? Yesterday before I went out, as I stood behind the curtain with Wojo, I started coughing. Coughing a lot. Sometimes when I get anxious I cough. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. I just said this quick two second prayer in my head, God please, not now. Countdown was up, I come around the corner of the curtain and positioned myself in front of the canvas, a metaphor for our lives. I picked up a paint brush and grabbed my rag and began. Instantly the itching in my chest dissolved. God answered my prayer. What seemed like such a small prayer to so many, is such a big prayer for me. How often do I close my eyes, and say God, please, not now. But when the coughing stopped only seconds before I walked out, it was like God whispered deep into my chest, "Yes, Summer, now." Not now for coughing, not now for hospitals, not now for being sick, but instead now for painting, now for worship, now for serving, now for peace. I have learned with every stop in this life there is a go. A stop to be sick and a go to be well. I must say that I do believe that I am going to take away from this experience more than I ever imagined. God is the artist of my life. He is in control, and how awesome is that!!!!

Tennessee Again

Right before we left to go the show!!




I am having a difficult time with this blog. I have been trying to use it as a daily journal of sorts, however I am a writer. I simply cannot write as if I am speaking. So therefore, from now on I have decided with a few exceptions of updates on our trips and whatnot s, I am going to be using this blog in the same way I have ever used any blog...as an outlet. So here is a bit about our trip we just took. Check back often for new writings of mine to be posted. =)

Me and Houston (Josh's Brother)


Lately we find ourselves in Tennessee a very good bit. Which is fine with me. In my opinion, there is nothing better than fresh mountain air. This trip was made because Sam played at the Coconut Bay again. For those of you who are not aware, my husband, Sam, is a DJ. He started played around nine years ago I believe. Of course this is not his job. He actually works in Neurology for a company called Drs4Drs. Being a DJ is just something he does in his spare time. The music he plays would be listed as Techno. While it is not my favorite music to listen to, he has won me over with several Bob Marley remixes. =)
Sam and Andy, one of his really long time friends. They cheered together at United.

We left on Monday unsure of where exactly we were going to stay for the night. We were torn between getting a hotel room and staying with Sam's friends. They too are also DJs. We decided on staying with a friend after all, Josh, to be exact. Monday night we went to the local Mellow Mushroom to hang out with several friends. I, myself, fell in love with the Hummus they serve there. Who would have ever known that a Greek favorite would have been so delicious in a pizza place!?!? It was FABULOUS!! I even ordered some to go!!!
Josh(Str8 A) The Grill Master himself!! =)

Tuesday was the day of the show, so as always, it proves to be a busy day for us. We ran several errands, which seemed to end up taking most of the day. We were all anticipating Tuesday night so it was fine to kill the time. Tuesday night we all met up at Josh's house and grilled out with a lot of friends, actually several new people to me. The food was incredible. I have to completely give credit to Josh for knowing how to "work the grill".
Chas(with his eyes closed!), Me, Houston, Holly and BJ

After dinner we all headed out to "the Bay" or Coconut Bay. The opening DJ was a woman named Gina. She played mostly hip hop. Sam's set was next. (His DJ name is Omni.) His entire set was Deadmau5. I was really glad he picked those. They sound great turned up loud. Then Josh(Str8 A) went on and finally Kyle (K House) played. At midnight when Kyle finished his set, they asked Sam to go back on, which was really really cool. Sam as "Omni"


Kyle as K House =)

The crowd loving it!!! (This wasn't even half of them!!)

I had a really great time. It was outside on the patio so that was better for me, since EVERYONE was smoking. I don't drink, with the exception of an occasional glass of red wine. So it is always interesting for me to be sober and watch everyone else around me not be. Sam drinks scotch, but not heavily. So it is always like we are in a twilight zone when we are around a large crowd that is completely wasted. Ha ha. But we do enjoy it. Close to the end of the night I realized there was more than drinking going on. There were several people there that were rolling. Which just blew me away!! Coconut Bay is a restaurant/bar type of place. I just never imagined seeing people on ecstasy there. It is really disheartening for us. The techno scene, because of the history of raves, has a really really negative reputation. A reputation that we hate. Everyone thinks because my husband listens to Techno then he MUST do acid and all of those other crazy things. While Sam did have a time of experimentation he is now a man of God. I really believe God is leading him slowly to do a ministry through his talent. It is such a huge chance for him to be able to tell his story with drug addiction and possibly help others in the scene as well. He actually signed with a manager a week ago!! Very exciting!! His manager is our Youth Pastor at our church. However you may not believe that when you see him. He is a giant man, no hair, covered in tattoos and has a "metal" beard. Ha ha. He is pretty awesome. He has been working in promotion for a really long time. I am really excited about him promoting Sam to regular venues and also Christian ones as well!!! This could be Sam's calling!! =)
Sam ha ha ha dancing of course!

Oh me, I do believe I have been rambling!! We ended up skipping the after party and staying with Kyle Tuesday night and returned home yesterday!!!

Tuesday night turned out to be a true success for the guys. The best part about it is, Kyle and Sam learned together years ago, and Josh followed in a few years later. They all three cheered together at some point and are truly best friends. This was their very first time to play out live together!! So it was really special! The crowd was loving it! I really believe it is because these guys have such great chemistry together and are friends off of the stage. It really makes a difference!! All three...Josh(Str8A), Kyle(K House) and Sam(Omni)

I am posting up some pictures and then I have to run! We are also heading into Tennessee again this weekend for Sam's family reunion!! I CANNOT wait!! I LOVE his family! I will post pictures when we get back from that as well! I hope everyone is well!! Remember to check back for original writings!!!
Me at the end of the night!! It was sooo incredibly hot!!!!!
Love you all!! =)

The Boro

I love floating around the pool on a hot summer day. It makes me so happy.

We are packing and getting ready to leave this afternoon for Murfreesboro, Tennessee. That is where most of Sam's friends live. He is playing a show tomorrow night at the Coconut Bay. It should be fun. I usually sit at a table and sip on water all night, while everyone else drinks heavily and gets silly. Ha ha. They are all really great people though and we hate we do not get to see them more often!!This is an old picture of me...well a few years ago at least. But it seemed fitting for the rant I am about to give that I would like to insert mini title...."For the Love of Steroids" =)



On a health note...gah I HATE talking about being sick!! I am not sick right now! Yay! But...yeah there is always a but. I am tight in my chest and wheezing. I am having asthma symptoms. I told the resident last time I was in (and my Dr.) about all of this. They just increased my Advair. I really think I need a pack of steroids. I took steroids last summer for the first time in years!! It isn't something I like doing. So you know if I am ASKING to take them, then I really feel like I need them. It is just a pack and it only lasts for like five to six days. I felt so much better last summer when I took them. That may just be the fix I need again. So I am giving myself until Wednesday, and if nothing better, then I am going to call the clinic and have them call them in.

It is so funny how when you are sick you almost become good at it?!? Like I am a professional sick person. I am a lot of other things as well. And Cystic Fibrosis is just a small part of my life, but when I get sick, or start feeling bad, it is like I know what meds to prescribe myself. I have been doing this for so long and I know my body so well by this point that I know what works and what doesn't. It is really crazy.

How blessed am I??? Is she not breathtaking!!! Gah I love this kid!


Life is good though. Peyton is gone to the beach with my aunt and uncle. I miss her so much!!! She will be back on Thursday. Then on Friday we leave back out again for Tennessee!!! I love being out of town though. It is so fun to see other places...even if they aren't far. I use to want to travel the world and as I would love to still do so one day, I came to realize that there are places right here around me that I have yet to even see!!! So I want to see those before I move farther out on the map! =)

Epic yesterday was so amazing!! Our pastor told the story about Ester. I love hearing those stories. He has such a way to make them come to life for me. God's presence is by far in that place. I always leave feeling like a new person......and most importantly loved.

God is so amazing. To Him I give complete and total glory to the blessings that have been delivered upon me during my journey. It's like blowing an FEV1 of 27% but never needing oxygen and being able to run laps!!! Only in the hospital twice last year!! WOW!! God is clearly at work in my life. He is not finished with me yet!!! I have to thank Him for today and every day here after. On most days I truly feel like a walking miracle!!!! =)


I am going to post some pictures simply because I LOVE blog with pictures!!!

I hope everyone is well and happy!!
Love you all!! =)

Deadmau5

We had a wonderful trip to Tennessee last week. We went down on Tuesday for Sam's set at the Coconut Bay. The crowd really turned out and we had a blast. Wednesday night we hit a club in Nashville for the Deadmau5 show. It was very interesting to say the least. Deadmau5 is a DJ that wears a giant mouse head as he spins. He had two different heads with him Wednesday night. Very neat. On Thursday we rode into Chattanooga to stay with Sam's parents. We always enjoy seeing them and never really feel as if we get to stay long enough. We woke up on Friday to celebrate Sam's 26th birthday and drove home!! It was a great trip but as always, there is no place like home!

Hope all is well with everyone!

Trips and Floors

We took a family trip to Tennessee this past weekend to visit Sam's parents. We do love those trips. We had a chance to visit with his grandmother, Mary, which is always a real treat to me. I am not sure if it is the longing that I have for my grandmother still who has passed away, but something about Mary just fascinates me. I catch myself wanting to hear every thing she has to say. Driving back from Soddy Daisy, where she lives, to Sam's parents home in Chattanooga I literally sat on the edge of my seat taking in every wonderful story she was telling. I love her little quirks and opinions about everything.
Saturday we did a small early birthday celebration for me and Sam's father. Peyton became very ill and had to go to bed. Her fever spiked to about 102.7. I was so worried. She stayed home from school until today. She is now feeling a lot better, mostly just coughing some.


Sam had to go out of town this week. He left on Tuesday and will not be returning until Friday. I do miss him so. We had decided to lay new hardwood floor in the bedroom so he pulled up the carpet before he left. Now I am left in a bit of a mess and sleeping in the guest bed has not proven to be satisfactory with my back. I am hoping...no I am praying that the man comes today to finish the floor. During these past few days I have realized how much of a sanctuary my bedroom has been to me. I must not take it for granted after this!

I hope all is well with everyone. I will try to post a new update soon on the GREAT STRIDES walk!!

=)