Sunday, October 25, 2009

"Sam I Am Is I Was Me"

On this day one year ago, I was up running around, making sure every last detail was perfect. I was by far, a complete mess. My stomach had "butterflies", my heart sat in my throat like a huge lump and emotional wouldn't even begin to describe the state I was in. I was about to join with Sam as one person. Sam was and still is my best friend. So I thought what better way to celebrate today than to write about him.

I met Sam almost four years ago through a mutual friend. He was this incredible little ball of energy. He was facing many demons at the time, yet he had this enormous heart. He was so friendly and just a blessing to be around. People were naturally attracted to him. When he walked in the room, everyone was drawn to his electric personality. At that time I never imagined I was looking at the man God had created just for me.

Sam and I started Epic together literally when they first opened the doors. After being there for maybe a month, Sam was asked to join the Tech team. He absolutely loved it. Before Epic, Sam had never been exposed to church. Me, on the other hand, had been in and out of church my entire life. Everything was so new to him. It was amazing watching him grow spiritually. Sam is and has been completely sold out to the Epic vision since day one. Sam is a volunteer on the Dream Team at Epic. He has been showing up every Sunday for the past two years and every single time stays for all three services, sometimes working them by himself. Even when I go in the hospital, he will stay with me on Saturday night and then wake up around 5 am on Sunday and drive home just to make it to service. He has a drive that is unbelievable. Sometimes I have no clue how he does it. It by far is a passion for him. Sam was baptized for the first time in his life ever this year at Epic. It was such an emotional experience for me. I believe each of us has a story. Sams is truly one that will blow you away. To know where he came from, the path he was on, and where he stands today is a true testament to God's mercy and love.

He supports me and he loves me. He goes to work for us each week so he can provide everything we need. He goes above and beyond at work, doing extras for the doctors and his coworkers. Most of the time things that go unnoticed, but he continues doing them anyway. He gives God all the glory and takes none for himself, which to me blows my mind daily.

We have such a unique marriage because I am sick. Sam stepped into my life, knowing the hardships that were to come and loves me completely and fully each day anyway. On the days I can't get out of bed, he helps me. He never once complains. When I feel like crying and screaming because I can't quit coughing, he holds me as tight as he can. There are days it feels like he literally breathes for me. He gets out of bed on his only days off and takes Peyton to school so I don't have to. He hired a housekeeper so I wouldn't be stressed and feel inadequate from not being able to handle all of the housework. When I go to the hospital, he stays every single night possible with me, holding my hand and pushing me along the way to get better. He has been there with me when I am coughing up blood and not sure what the future is going to bring for me. He completely supports me with the book I am writing. He is so patient never hurrying me to finish it, knowing I will finish it in my own time. There have been several times when I have been sick and because of the physical limited activity I could do he carried me on his back when he noticed I was taking short breaths. He loves my daughter as if she were his own. He has told me time and time again, he truly believes God created her with him in mind, even though he wasn't in the picture at the time. He is a man of God. It isn't something he tells you, it is just something that radiates off of him.

It is an honor to get to walk beside him in this life. I truly believe that God created us for each other. That our story together was planned long before we ever imagine. He is me and I am him. His victories are my victories and his defeats are my defeats. He is everything I dreamed of as a little girl and more. I love his drive to be productive and adore his heart that wants to help those in need. He never meets a stranger. He always has a smile. He is truly my best friend. I am overwhelmed today as I look back at our journey thus far, for I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. =)


  1. Love you both. And what a blessing to have witnessed your wedding day. Congratulations on your first Anniversary and blessings for many more!

  2. He is indeed a man of God. I am so blessed to be a part of your journey together. Have a wonderful time in Tn this weekend.

  3. Awesome post! You have a great husband from what I can tell!! And I'm so happy you found your soulmate, and the one God chose for you!!! Happy Anniversary (a little late)!!!

  4. Wow! I was searching google, looking for where the words, "he is me and I am him" comes from, because I used it in a song I wrote, but couldn't remember where I heard it first. It led me to your blog and this was a very nice read.

    In the will of God, may you be led to your healing.

    Will Power